In talking to some of my fellow students and a couple of the instructors, it seems that the students who do the best in Paramedic school all share one common trait – they had a single moment when they knew it was time for paramedic school.
Dictionary.com defines epiphany as “a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.”
It’s term I’ve heard used far too often, and usually in the wrong context, but in this case I think it is rather fitting. Some of the “moments” I’ve heard are major events, running an extremely critical without ALS assistance, MCI’s etc, but for most it was a seemingly benign event that turned the light bulb on for them.
For one of my instructors – the moment came when he no longer broke into a profuse sweat when the “tones dropped”. He tells of having to wear sweat bands on his wrists to keep his hands any semblance of dry, and of sweat running down his face to the point it often obscured his vision. One day he just realized that it wasn’t happening anymore and he knew he was ready. It’s kind of humorous when he tells the story, but for him that was a defining moment in his career.
For me it was a little more subtle, but no less of a moment of clarity. I ask you to try to remember those first couple of calls you were sent to as a brand spanking new EMT, and see if any of you can relate.
For the first little while every call I got was “life and death”, the radio would crackle I would hear my unit number and every pore in my entire body would squeeze out a single drop of sweat… my pulse would quicken and the giant ferris wheel in my stomach would start revolving. For the first month or two my more experienced partners would have to put their hand on arm and say – just breathe man – we got this.
I remember thinking it was going to take me forever to get over that adrenaline dump when the radio told it was our turn at the plate. Slowly, man down unknown medical calls stopped becoming cardiac arrests in my mind, MVA’s stopped needing every victim to be cut out of the car and rushed to the trauma center… and I hit my stride.
Even on those truly rare occasions now when we get an actual critical call – I’m a cucumber – cool collected and able to perform my job as expected without needing to change my undershirt because it’s soaked with nervous sweat.
A few months into my current job I was assigned a new partner – a brand new paramedic – ink not even dry on his cert yet. Watching him work his first few scenes was like looking into the “back in time’ mirror… I could see the nervous tension just below the surface on each and every scene, and was reminded what those first few calls were like for me too. He held his own and became not only a great partner but a great friend.
A few more months and I got another new partner – yet another brand new paramedic with ink still wet on his cert – the same things I said about my first new medic partner apply equally to my second…
Then one day we were sent to a local clinic – they had a patient in sustained V-tach that needed to be taken to the hospital – hearing the call over the radio – I flipped on the lights and the siren, and did my best maverick impersonation to navigate us to the facility….
Somewhere between the lights coming on and the rig coming to a stop in front of the clinic I noticed that all the color had drained out of my partners face. He fumbled with combination to the narcotics safe and we literally had electrode confetti throughout the back of the rig… And then it happened –
I reached out and grabbed his arm – and said – Man breathe – we got this….
At that single moment, it became clear to me I was ready. How that translates into I’m ready to challenge myself by taking my skills and knowledge to the next level, I can’t exactly say for sure, but it was like someone flipped a switch and all of a sudden I knew.
That’s my epiphany, defining moment, whatever you want to call it – How about you? What were some of the defining moments in your career? What was it that finally whispered “your ready” into your ear?